F&Mily Guide to Supporting Your Student in College

Model Strong Communication Skills

• • It’s okay to disagree and be upset, especially during the first year of college; take a break and come back to the conversation later, before a relationship is damaged.
  • Be open about your family’s history, both the good and the bad.
  • Show that it’s okay to talk about sensitive and emotional topics.

Provide Regular Support

• • Create a communication routine that works for both of you: How will you communicate? When will you communicate?
  • Let your student know that they don’t have to protect you from their problems; while you expect them to do well and be successful, let them know you’re available when things aren’t going well.

Practice Active Listening

• • Be present, be patient, and focus on what your student is saying without trying to immediately find an answer. Don’t interrupt or finish their sentences; ask for clarification if needed.

Don’t Judge or Criticize

• • Admit that you don’t always know what is best.
  • Aim for balanced, open conversations as the parent-child dynamic shifts to a parent-adult one.
  • Offer your point of view as something for your student to consider, rather than “It’s my way or the highway.”

Encourage Problem-Solving Skills

• • Check yourself before offering to solve a problem for your student immediately.
  • Get the facts about the situation, then brainstorm possible solutions together, including pros and cons.
  • Recognize that difficult situations are opportunities for your student to learn how to deal with unexpected events and various life relationships.

*Adapted from College of the Overwhelmed: The Campus Mental Health Crisis And What To Do About It by Richard D. Kadison and Theresa Foy DiGeronimo (2004)

Know the Available Resources

There is a plethora of support available to help students thrive at F&M. You can share these with your student when the time arises, but encourage them to reach out to these resources on their own.